Paparazzi for your Self-esteem
Key words: Self-esteem, self-love,
Yesterday while sitting in a restaurant enjoying some hot BlueBerry Pancakes, buttered down, with a side order of sausages, and a cup of Joe, I had began to have an interesting, yet not so interesting conversation with my daughters. The conversation started something like this
Daughter: “Our waiter looks very much like that guy from the show Vampire Diaries”
Me: … “Yes, a little… and you know they film that right here in Georgia…not to far from here”.
Daughter: “What’s his name again?”
Me: I don’t know or care…I don’t know him”.
At that moment a light bulb of awareness suddenly came on. “People are Stalkers”. Average, everyday people are just stalkers. I recalled watching a show on television that same morning where about 8 or 9 people called “Paparazzi” where standing on a cliff taking photo after photo of some lady reading a book on the beach. Clearly this wasn’t exciting to watch. But, then they began to say who she is…and I felt my internal interest meter…NOT MOVE, not an inch.
I said to myself, I still don’t know her. Perhaps, I’ve been a therapist too long and the life of people I actually know, my clients, my friends, my family, co-workers and associates just overwhelm my thoughts and actually, my interest. Celebrities just don’t do it for me. Note to self. The artist known as Prince died recently. I loved his music…that’s just it, I loved his music. End of conversation. He was probably and interesting, lovable man. I don’t know if I’ll every know for sure.
What makes these people so interesting is the desire to live life through the eyes of someone else. However, everyday people are just as interesting…if you get to know them. I’ve noticed that on a smaller scale, many of my clients…especially the ones recently out of love, suffer greatly from the lost of the connection to the person they loved. Lost of attachments hurt. Self-esteem, and self-love takes a blow to the heart. While their is not a defined length of time that a person may have to endure the grieving process of a lost love, there are a few things that one can do to assist with recovery. I hope the following points will be helpful with the recovery process:
“The Celebrity within is all about Self-Love”
I wonder what people envy about watching celebrities. Is it the imagination of how interesting their life may be?…compared to their own? I don’t know.
I find everyday people are interesting. When I pose the question of what people actually wish they knew how to do that would bring the joy, the answers are pretty normal and obtainable. I hear things like: Learn to draw, play an instrument, speak a new language, dance, sing, travel, meet new people. These things are certainly not things that only celebrities can do, but also obtainable by the celebrity within. Finding the celebrity within is all about self-love. Not the bad narcissistic type, but one based in self-esteem. I have to sheepishly admit that I spend about $50 dollars a week on Starbucks. Well, that would pretty much cover the price of drawing lessons, instrument lessons, language, dance and singing, with money left over to still purchase my favorite latte. Save that same $50 bucks for a few weeks and I could even take a vacation to a new location every year, depending on the location…maybe even several times a year. And let’s face it, doing any of the above would undoubtedly introduce you to new people. All of a sudden, you’ve just become a person of interest, because you do “interesting” things. Self-esteem would get an instant power boost, like drinking a redbull.
Becoming an interesting person doesn’t require a blockbuster movie after all, instead it requires blockbuster interest in pleasing yourself. No need to look through the eyes of someone else, or sit on a cliff to take pictures of another human being (unless that is your passion), instead look in the mirror and take a selfie. Self-love is about finding and following what would makes you want to talk about you. Often I hear people say, well I don’t know what I want to do. This could be indicative of another issue…something mental that is blocking your wonderful. Sitting with a trained listener like a Therapist can help one sort through the clutter of your mind. Make your therapist your personal “paparazzi”. Allow them to find your wonderful and talk about what makes it difficult to let your wonderful out. Are you ready to become a Star? Ready to be that person that is a celebrity to someone else? Then begin the process now. I’ll see you on the beach.